Social Distancing We Need it.

Hey my bff’s,

A lot of people are having a difficult time right now with this thing call social distancing. But if you think about it, this is exactly the time to become your own bff. My mission for the my bff house has always been about Self love and now look at what social distancing is forcing us to do. Self Love. We need to take advantage of this difficult time and make something positive out of it. Social distancing will not only stop the spread of this deadly virus and help keep our family and friends safe and well but it will let us use this precious time to spend with ourselves, if your are alone. Social distancing gives us time to remember who we are again. Some of us lost ourselves in the mist of family and work distracted by outsiders. We now have our own undivided attention. I think you will find out that you’re not so bad to be with. This is a time to get still and quite and dream big dreams. Make plans for your life. Because while we were out there being busy with this think call life we didn’t have time to think about our dreams and goals for ourselves. Only you know deep in your heart what you really want your life to look like. Someone once said that you are your own best friend as well as your own worst enemy. Today I chose to be My own bff. Use this weird time to love on you and your family. Find yourself, you’re standing right there. She’s waiting for you to show some love. Remember who you really are. I want us to be own our bff and today it looks like we have no choice.

tonight I was invited to a zoom party and I’m going to get dressed up and go, right here in my living room. Peace.

I Hope You Dance

I remember when I was a little girl around 10 or 11 years old. My mother, my stepdad and I were living in an Brooklyn apartment watching our black and white television. The Ed Sullivan Show was on and his guess for that night was The Alvin Alley Dancers. As I sat on the floor in front of the TV I became glued to the screen as these beautiful men and women dressed in bright colorful leotards gracefully dancing across the stage. The way they expressed themselves with their bodies to the rhythm of the music was intriguing. I couldn’t take my eyes off them. The Alvin Alley American Dance Theater was one of the most successful dance companies in the world. Full of excitement and determination and so happy to know what my dream was, what I wanted to be when I grew up. I told my mother that I wanted to be a Alvin Alley dancer. I want to dance just like them mom. Gracefully dancing across the stage. No! it won’t happen my stepdad said. You won’t be picked. There will be 200 girls auditioning for a chance to be one of those dancers and you won’t be picked. He told me I wouldn’t make it, I didn’t have what it took to be a dancer let alone a Alvin Alley dancer. My heart was broken and the excitement was gone. I was confused. How did he know this why did he say that. How did those dancers on tv make it. What did I know, he was the adult and I was the child. He knew better than I did right? Wrong. Today I often wondered what would have happen if he didn’t discourage me from trying out. What would have happen if I went down to that dance studio and just tried. I would never know. When I became a mother I promised myself that I would never discourage my kids from their goals and dreams as long as it didn’t cause harm to themselves or others. Fear was instilled in me and when I became a teenager and a young adult I still loved dancing but would immediately stop thinking about it because I believed what was told to me. Afraid of failing, or being rejected like my stepdad told me I would be. If you get a chance listen to the words of Lee Ann Womack:

I hope you never lose your sense of wonder, you get your fill to eat but always keep that hunger. May you never take one single breath for granted, God forbid love ever leave you empty handed. I hope you still feel small when you stand beside the ocean. Whenever one door closes I hope one more opens. Promise me that you’ll give faith a fighting chance and when you get the choice to sit it our or dance, I hope you dance, I hope you dance. Stay Well.

Image result for modering dancing
Image result for modering dancing

Daddy’s little girl.

Good evening my bff,

I never had a chance to be daddy’s little girl. Not because my father died at an early age, but because I never was introduced to him. I don’t know his name first or last. I don’t have any pictures of him. I don’t know if he is still living or not. Where he’s from, nothing. Who is this mystery man? Is he famous? did he ever want to meet me? Is he tall or short? Is he built like the Rock? or Snoop Dog? I wanna know if I look like him? But for some reason my father’s information has been kept a top secret and I don’t know why but sometimes I feel like I might not want to know and a part of me is like I need to know because I don’t feel complete. Not knowing who my father is has been tough for me over the years growing up my adult life. People would say to me that as long as you know who your real father is (GOD) you should be alright. But isn’t it important to know who your family is? I mean when it comes to answering medical questions about your parents I would want to know their medical history wouldn’t you? When I was diagnosed with breast cancer that was the question asked. Did anyone in your family have breast cancer on your mother or father’s side. And I would give them information on my mother’s side. What about your father side of the family? I couldn’t tell you doc. Who are my grandparents, uncles, aunts, sisters and brothers? I mean not knowing anything at all, that’s tough. Dealing with abandonment issues has become huge for me growing up and even in my adult life. As I look back at some of the decisions I made over the years in relationships, people pleasing, not knowing how to say no, they were based on my abandonment issues. I didn’t want to be left out so I would do or say things to please them so they would like me. One thing I know for sure, is I may not be daddy’s little girl, but I’m my own bff growing and learning each day on how to not abandon myself. Making decisions that pleases me. Peace

Death of a marriage

Hey BFF,

They say divorce is like a death. You mourn and grieve. No matter the reason why the divorce is happening, abuse, adultery or just uncontested, it still hurts. You feel like a failure and you go through self-esteem issues. My day is approaching soon and I was thinking about how I want to show up for that big day. Do I wear black to let the grieving process take it’s course. Or do I show up in bright happy colors to celebrate me and move on with new goals, dreams and happiness coming my way. Staying focus on my well being, and my purpose. Tell me your thoughts my bff. Peace.